Funny Irish Sayings

The Irish don't know what they want and are prepared to fight to the death to get it.
Sidney Littlewood

The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scotts as a joke, but the Scotts haven't seen the joke yet.
Oliver Herford

We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English.
Winston Churchill

In Ireland the inevitable never happens and the unexpected constantly occurs.
John Pentland Mahaffy

May God bless and keep in good health your enemies' enemies.
Irish Blessing


If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks.
Brendan Behan

The one thing us Irish have is the ability to laugh at ourselves. God bless us all.
Ann Kennedy

We drink and we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall
asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. We commit no sin and we go to
heaven. So let’s all get drunk and go to heaven!
Irish Saying

Many times, a man’s mouth has broken his nose.
Irish Saying


My mother’s menu consisted of only two items: take it
or leave it.
Irish Saying

If you're enough lucky to be Irish, you're lucky enough!
Irish Saying

Haha, those were all great. Thank you for sharing them =)

Haha! It's the oddest thing: Some jokes I don't get, and yet I laugh at them because I know they're funny! /:p/ Human nature is truly curious...

capeng wrote:The one thing us Irish have is the ability to laugh at ourselves. God bless us all.
Ann Kennedy

It's we Irish.

I couldn't resist...

But, anyways, those are hilarious.

*Shakes head at Sko.*

I love these! My favorites are the fifth and eighth!
When Irish eyes are smiling, they're usually up to something.

The second and tenth ones were two of my favorites. The eighth one made me laugh pretty hard.

The eighth one was very bad logic, and the ninth one was very true - but I had to laugh at both of them! =D Thanks for sharing these, capeng!

I loved the the Winston Churchill saying. And of course, only the Irish would think getting yourself stark drunk would take you to Heaven.

@Suzy Lou That one you put is a good one!

Here's some more I found:

Irish Alzheimer's -you forget everything except the grudges.

Drinking gives one a very clear sense of who's to blame for everything.

I once read about the evils of drink, so I gave up reading.

Here's to our wives and girlfriends: May they never meet!

He was a bold man that first ate an oyster.

What's the use of being Irish if the world doesn't break your heart
?

"The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad. For all
their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad." - British theologian G.K. Chesterton

Those who drink to forget, please pay in advance

God is good to the Irish, but no one else is; not even the
Irish.

The Irish are a very fair people, they never
speak well of one another.

Shut your mouth and eat your dinner.

I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect!

I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame it on you

Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized.

The English are not happy unless they are miserable, the Irish are not
at peace unless they are at war, and the Scots are not at home unless
they are abroad.

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish.

I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't.

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here.

Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point in the wrong direction.

There are three types of people in this world: those who make things
happen, those who watch things happen and those who wonder what
happened.

Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to.

You never miss the water till the well has run dry.

Nodding the head does not row the boat.

May the curse of Mary Malone and her nine blind illegitimate children
chase you so far over the hills of Damnation that the Lord himself can't
find you with a telescope!