Maturity

As we get older, we learn how to act mature and in some cases act no different than an adult. Do you think there is a certain age where your reach that level? For me I was a goofing off teen, but for the most part I was able to handle mature discussion and the like. I've seen others who can be pretty mature at 13-14 but there are others I'd say hit that maturity level around 16 or 17. Still others you have to observe just to see where they fit. What do you think?

You mean, one day I'll be mature? :O I refuse to believe that  
*coughs*
Seriously though, like you said, it definitely depends on the person. I know people who are over 21 that still need to mature.. But, of course, there are little girls I know who believe they are "mature" who are, well, quite the opposite. So, ya, it depends on the person.

I agree with you both on this matter. It truly does depend on the person.

However, what defines maturity? Seriousness? Unable to be imaginative? Maturity can be so confused in definitions that people aren't really sure what to believe anymore. 

I believe that maturity can be defined as "Being able to handle responsibility and spiritual matters, without draining the child-like life out to zero percent." 

You're never too old for imagination. Growing up doesn't mean giving up life. It means being able to handle when life throws you hard balls with grace and strong faith in God. But still being able to enjoy the dew drops on the roses when you see them. Even the smallest details.

...And those are my thoughts on the matter. =)

Goodness, Sammeh, you took the words right out of my mouth! I was sitting here trying to figure out how to say it, when I ran out of time  .. But of course you said it much more beautifully then I would have..

I think it's usually the girls who are mature around 14-15 and the guys reach it at an older age. That's what I've seen, sometimes it's quite the opposite. For me, I can be really mature sometimes, but if you throw me in a room with little kids? hahaha no way, I'll be crawling on the floor and having tickle fights with them!   I've had ALOT happen to make me more mature. It's always good to be mature, but in some situations it's good to have some fun! ;)But i would say you can be a fun person, AND be mature!

I think maturity is based on whether or not you want to be mature. I mean, if you didn't bother to try to act mature, you wouldn't just suddenly become well-mannered as an adult. Maturity is a process, but it's also a decision.

Maturity is also something that can be reversed, in my experience. I've known people who looked to have matured to a degree, and are now sliding backwards.

But either way, you have to want to be mature, and you have to want it for enough time to figure it out. This is in addition to brain development, you have to want it and you have to have the capability mentally to do it.

totally agree with u, Ryan. 
what I think is that people shouldn't try so hard to be mature...but that's just me..also I don't think people should judge u on how mature u r by the way u spell I've been called immature a lot cuz I misspell and I guess just the way I act. hehe did I get off topic too much?

Amarinda wrote:also I don't think people should judge u on how mature u r by the way u spell I've been called immature a lot cuz I misspell and I guess just the way I act.

Personally, I disagree with that. While spelling isn't a big deal anymore, I personally think it should be. And either way, being able to spell and use correct grammar and style is, if nothing else, indicative that you possess the personal strength to do so. If you don't use grammar and spelling correctly, it doesn't automatically mean you're not smart, it just makes it harder to prove that you are smart.

So, who's smarter? The wise man who uses perfect grammar, or the wise man who everyone knows is wise even though he's horrible at speaking?

they would probably listen to the 1 who used correct grammer  but is seems like maturaty is more how you act not if you misspell a couple things or use worong grammer..do u think I'm immature cuz I misspell things?

Amarinda wrote:they would probably listen to the 1 who used correct grammer  but is seems like maturaty is more how you act not if you misspell a couple things or use worong grammer..do u think I'm immature cuz I misspell things?

As I said, I don't think that incorrect grammar is linked with immaturity. While such a connotation was often true in the past, thanks to the Internet, judging a book by its cover is not only easy, but it's also more prone to be a mistake.

Because people can type messages so quickly, they take less care than if it were in writing. So, "optional" things like capitalization and punctuation are often sacrificed for speed. I just try to take that extra time.

alright got it. so what would you say you think is immature?

Amarinda wrote:alright got it. so what would you say you think is immature?

Within the realm of grammar, I'd say syntax errors. Putting words in the wrong order is pretty immature. Even if there isn't enough capitalization or punctuation, or if the wrong version of a word is used, the words should still be in the right order. That's immature.

what about not in grammar but in just the way they act?

Maturity has different levels and different ways of measuring. Like because of what I have seen in my life I have a degree of more maturity in some things than others do. But in some areas other are more mature.

For me, I've always looked a few years older than I am. I also act more mature than most 14 year olds, with the exception of when I'm with little kids or at a late night sleepover. A girl has to have fun and be immature sometime.  Most people think I'm 15 or 16, and when I was around 12, I was still mistaken for a 15 year old. I'm finally around the age people think I am!  It's always kinda fun to tell people I'm 14 (even though I HATE IT. I want to be older than I am. At least by a year. I'm counting the days until I turn 15.) just to see the looks on their faces. One guy did a literal spit take. Haha. But I think because I was always thought to be older, I subconsciously tried to make people think I was older by acting more mature than more 13-14 year old girls. Even when people haven't seen my face, they still think I'm at least 15 or 16. I feel like I'm pretty mature for my age, at least.

Sko wrote:But either way, you have to want to be mature, and you have to want it for enough time to figure it out. This is in addition to brain development, you have to want it and you have to have the capability mentally to do it.

I agree with what you said here, Sko. Especially where you said that "you have to want it for enough time to figure it out." I know sooo many kids who wanted to be mature and wanted it right away. They did not wait to "figure it out" but instead took matters into their own hands and became a sort of "fake mature" (I can elaborate on this if needed) And so we see children of 11 years that look like they are 16 years old, and attempt to act this way. However, to the discerning, it is plain that it is merely a facade.

Also, I have noticed that a person with a quieter, more serious personality is often judged more mature then a person with a louder, more jovial personality. I think this is BIG mistake.

Maturity does not automatically come with age, it comes with the mind being able to process more abstract thoughts AND your ability to appropriately respond to any situation. A 5 y/old being told his grandpa died wouldn't know how to respond. A 13 y/old being told his grandpa died would know what death is, and why one would die, but not necessarily what happens after death. Some aspects of maturity come with age, simply because of life experience dictates how you should act. If you do something that embarrasses you, you learn not to do it again. Being mature is not some "bang!" moment in your life, it's the process of learning the nuances of life and understanding the world in which God gave us.

why would a 13 year old not know what happenes after death.....?

Maria wrote:But i would say you can be a fun person, AND be mature!

You can definitely be a fun and mature person.  

Amarinda wrote:why would a 13 year old not know what happenes after death.....?

Even lots of adults don't know for sure what happens after death.  It's really sad!  =(

For lots of people, I think it at least starts around 13.  Even if they don't mature between 13 or 14, they at least start to change.  I know several kids who have grown up a Christian home, but when they hit their teen years, they began to change, and suddenly they began to consider their beliefs more seriously than before.  Like you guys have said, some of maturity depends on how long you want to be mature.  Like Renae pointed out, I think part of it shows up depending on your personality.  Serious, quiet people can appear more mature, while louder, fun-loving people can appear a little less mature.  That definitely goes to show that you mustn't judge people only by what you see.

Excuse me,I knew what happens after death when I was three.
The things you people come up with....O_o

Amarinda wrote:why would a 13 year old not know what happenes after death.....?

Shalom wrote:Excuse me,I knew what happens after death when I was three.
The things you people come up with....O_o

We are very blessed to know the truth.    Unfortunately, we as Christians can become blind to the fact that not everyone has been taught the truth.  When parents don't believe what the Bible says, they don't tell their kids, so then their kids are left to wonder about it.  Some people believe in reincarnation, still lots of people just think that they'll probably go to heaven, but when it boils down to it, they really aren't sure about what will happen after death.  The evolution that is being taught in schools even in America, claim that we just came into being by an "accident."  In that case, why would people have reason to believe in heaven and hell?  What defines good versus evil?

I realize this has gone a bit off topic, and if we want to discuss it more, we can take it into another thread of its own.

umm ok but why 13?? if what u say is true then it should go for all non christians not just 13 yr olds