This blog is gonna be the most heart-full thing I've written so far. Sometimes I wonder if life is just this big play, and God is directing it, he's got the parts all planned and the scenes all planned out. but the catch is we, the cast have no idea whats happening next. We play our parts the best that we can, but then a whirlwind hits us and we're in shock and tears and our directer is like "don't give up! keep going! the play isn't over!". But at times we wanna give up our parts. We wanna have the romance, or we wanna have adventures, or we wanna be the beautiful or handsome actor. but our time will come. for a while i gave up on the thought of love, i kept hearing the same line over and over and over, and if i ever hear that line again i'm gonna go crazy. people kept saying, "oh don't worry, your guy will come, someday!", but i stopped believing in that. my sister got her heart broken around the same time i did, and she hasn't been the same since. i then told myself if a guy didn't keep his word i wouldn't trust him, but do you know what i did? i still waited for him to keep his word, for about 3 days. i found out that he didn't understand what i meant, so in some ways it was my fault he didn't get what i said. but i still dont understand whats wrong with me, i keep telling myself since i dont have a guy i must not be good enough. every where i go i see some couple holding hands, and i look away, tears flooding my eyes. i then ask God why he made me this way? why couldn't I be as good looking as all my friends? why couldn't my personality be as good as all the other people? why did i have to be 13 instead of 16? it just wasn't fair to me. but i know deep down God has a plan, though i can't see it, he can. he's preparing me, and my future guy for each other, making us the people we're supposed to be. i have no clue where this guy is, he could be here in NY or he could move here from some other state or something, but one day i will know.me and God had a long talk last night about this, he pretty much told me to wait and keep praying, he told me i wasn't ready for a guy yet, but he would keep preparing me for that day. 13 years are pretty short years, every year i'll get more mature and more ready for my future guy, till finally i'll be 18, and hopefully my guy will be here, and the waiting will be done. but if not, i can keep waiting cuz dreams are just around the corner if you take the path that's straight, for that's where dreams all wait. but for now? well, i'll be learning more, trying to survive school, trying to be more like Jesus, acting, all that fun stuff. at any age God could allow the man of my dreams to come in, maybe now, or when i'm 15, or 16, who knows? only God does, and it's my job to trust him for now, even if i had to move to some other state to meet him, it would be worth it. my parents even said that life is going to change, and i can't wait to see how. i guess in 2013 life will start to get better, and we're going to be more involved in life. so maybe, just maybe, i get to see my future guy!!!! i'm pretty excited to see whats gonna happen. but i ask that you guys would pray, pray that my guy will come here soon. alright, now i must go, love you guys!!!!!!!!!
Love always,
The dreamer of dreams <3